Welcome to the Fanfiction!
by cypher23k
Summary: The life of a NEET: hentai/doujin-filled hard-drives, the musty scent of male body odor fuming within a closed room, the clutter of day-to-day living upon the floor - some would say it's not a life at all. Maybe he was able to live his life through another - Misaki. But what happens when she disappears?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Welcome to the Dreamscape!**

I woke up.

That's the perfect description for the beginning of my day.

_I woke up._

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

_I woke up._

Who am I kidding? There's nothing fantastic about it. It's an average beginning to an average, not so happy life. Maybe I'm to blame for being so average and… not so happy. But wait, no! It isn't my fault. Nothing has ever been my fault! There's a reason why bad things happen to average, not so happy people! Do you know why? Well…

It is all the fault of that dirty, blasted NHK!

Yes, an evil society is conspiring against me! The Nihon Hikikomori Kyokai… They won't ever rest until I am destroyed! But… I am ready. At the moment, I've awoken to find myself in a truly incredible situation. I am holding an epic last stand against the terrible, cruel empire of the NHK. Atop a tower of infinite heights, I am blasting the NHK hordes with my railgun! They're coming at me from every direction. From the air, up the tower's base, teleportation… you name it… they're doing it… Good thing justice shall always prevail!

I unleashed another round of bullets. I could feel the heat of the railgun burn my fingers.

**BOOM**

**BANG**

**KA-POW**

I yelled an incredibly triumphant proclamation, "Take that! You hellspawns! I send you to the place from whence you've came forth!"

NHK's army was relentless. A gigantic bird with the face of an NHK imp propelled itself towards me. I aimed, and fired. The creature's body incinerated as it fell to the world below. Behind me, a demon waved its gleaming dagger. I summersaulted backwards and blasted the thing to smithereens. Then, up there, above my head! I could see some NHK stealth bombers! A flurry of ammunition rang out from my weapon. The stealth bombers disappeared in clouds of fire.

This was almost too easy.

"YOUUUU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME? I AM SATO TATSUHIRO! SAVIOR OF THIS PLANET, AND HERO OF HUMANITY!"

The onslaught of enemies kept coming, but I continued to fend them off. I yawned as I repeatedly pressed the trigger button.

"Ha! To think I was once afraid of the NHK!"

I heard a sound from behind me. Instinctively, I swerved around, gun in hand, smile on face. Then that smile evaporated. The sky around me became dark. The cries and screams of NHK's minions faded in volume until there was nothing. A deep pain began to dwell in my chest. My body wanted to topple on the floor, as if gravity itself was too harsh a force to contend with.

"M-Misaki?"

The shoulder length hair. The doe eyes. That smile that fit so snugly in her face… It was definitely her.

"Misaki? W-what are you doing here?"

I looked at her forehead. The letters N, H, K were etched a few centimeters into her skin. It was a permanant mark. The shirt she was wearing even had those damn letters on it. And that smile… She wouldn't stop smiling. I don't ever remember her smiling this much… She seemed like an entirely different person… Yes, this image was instantly burned into my memory. I would never forget it.

"Hey, Sato, what's up?" She began to walk towards me.

I dropped my railgun.

"I see you've been hurting… my friends. You shouldn't do that, you know. Especially since you're such a dirty, rotten, disgusting hikikomori!"

Mouth agape, I took one step back, only to nearly stumble backwards. I looked over my shoulder. There was a vast, black chasm of nothingness. I was on the edge of the tower. I had nowhere to run.

She continued to walk towards me. "You know, Sato… For a while there, I thought there was something in you. Something of redeemable value. But I guess… I was wrong! You're worthless. Trash, as you sometimes say. I think you'd be better off not even existing." Her serene voice contrasted with the harsh words.

I wanted to say something, but no words would come out. Then, after she took one more step, she jumped forward and pushed me. Tumbling backwards, my body fell through the air, down into that dark abyss. Deeper and deeper and deeper… I continued to fall, for what felt like miles. The image of Misaki, looking down at me, got smaller and smaller until she was a speck, and then she was gone. For all I knew, I could have been falling for hours, days, or perhaps even years.

As my body made its way through space, I cursed, "Damn you… NHK…"

My body crashed to the ground. After the numbness wore off, the pain came. My whole body ached. I groaned.

"ugghhhhhh…"

I woke up. This time, for real.

My face was glued to the floor. With a push of my arms, I lifted myself upwards, only to fall down again on my back. I opened my eyes, and stared at the cold ceiling. Now I remembered. I had been in such a crappy mood that I couldn't bear sleeping in my futon. Instead, I tried sleeping in my bunk. Yeah, bad move.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Welcome to Reality!**

"SATO! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN WORKING ON OUR GAL GAME FOR THE PAST WEEK, ALONE, AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN… LOAFING AROUND!"

I attempted at a reply, "I just… haven't felt that good. At all."

Yamazaki groaned. He put his palm to his face and turned in the other direction, away from me. He began mumbling to himself. The words were too quiet and slurred for me to understand them. The only words I could pick out were "Hikikomori", and "useless". Or maybe that was just my imagination. I thought about telling him to take this conversation indoors, instead of outside, on the complex's shared landing, but I realized that wasn't a good idea. Yamazaki wasn't in a good mood.

He turned back to me, and exclaimed, with a sudden good-natured grin, "Look, Sato! I understand… your 'condition'. And that's why we're friends! Buddies! And you know what friends do?" He moved his face forward, to where it was just a millimeter away from mine. "Friends. Help. Each. Other. Out." With each word he recited, a fume of his toxic breath entered my nose.

I pushed him away. "Cut it out! You're invading my personal space! If you come any step closer… I'll-," I paused, unsure on how to finish my sentence - I really didn't know what I would do - but then, like a miracle, the answer came to my mind, "I'll use my Kung Fu on you!"

Yamazaki started chuckling to himself. He then immediately rebuffed my claim, "Yeah, right. All you do is watch those bad seventies martial arts flicks, and then think you can imitate them. I know how you work, Sato."

"Oh yeah?" With the speed of a fox, I attempted a lower jab at Yamazaki! This was bound to impress him. Maybe then he would learn to leave me alone!

My fist hit the air.

Yamazaki just stood there.

He exclaimed, "I think… you have to shoot just a little bit closer to hurt me, let alone touch me… But! I have some skills of my own. Behold!" Yamazaki put his right foot forward, and got his miniscule arms ready, attempting at a fighting pose. "I will now show you the superb might of… PINK FIRE JET CHIMP OF NEPTUNE!" He whispered an epilogue to himself, as if nobody was listening, "…I got it from a favorite manga…"

Yamazaki hopped over and started slapping my head with his palms. He seemed to be playing my skull like a drum. It didn't hurt, but it was annoying. Really, really annoying. I started hammering at his sides with my clenched hands. We were both grunting and making a real production out of the whole thing. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see an elderly lady, from across the street, staring at us with a perplexed expression.

As I grabbed him, we flipped over and began rolling against the ground. Weak punch after weak punch, I could feel the bruises mounting all over my body. I didn't even know why we were fighting. I guess this was my fault. Goddamn, am I getting annoyed.

I yelled, "STOP!"

With a jet of momentum from my arms, I pushed Yamazaki off. Through the air, he flew a few feet backwards. He hit the ground with a loud thud. I wasn't intending it to be that strong of a push… I either underestimated my strength, or Yamazaki was being overly dramatic. Probably the latter.

"Hey, man… are you okay?"

He made a frustrated grunt as he shook on the floor. "OF COURSE I'M OKAY! Just got the wind knocked out of me… a little…"

I rested my back against the wall of my apartment. Closed my eyes. Tried to relax…

Out of breath, I barely mumbled, "Is this my life?" I gritted my teeth.

I never envisioned this. Something happened, something I can't even begin to understand, and now I'm here. When I was younger, I had a number of dreams. Astronaut. Politician. Fireman. Superhero. They were childish, stupid dreams. And that's exactly they always would be - dreams. I always fantasized about success, adventure, and romance. But in the end, I never achieved anything. I lacked the willpower and talent to carry them through. The moment I decided on my future, I was doomed. I wish I had known that earlier. Time continued on and on, and after a long enough time, I gave up on the things I cared for, and became something I couldn't even bare to look at in the mirror. The future doesn't exist. It never did. The future is itself a dream, because it is made of dreams. Those dreams, the future, never came to be. We create the future, but I am always in the present. I am always here, in this harsh, cruel reality.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Welcome to Discussion!**

We sat in Yamazaki's apartment, rubbing icepacks against our recent injuries. I was on the coach, and he was hunched over in his office chair, perusing a website on the computer.

The otaku groaned, "That's the last time I'm trying that out…"

I let out a laugh, but it sounded more like a wheeze for air. "Yeah…"

The silence continued. Whenever Yamazaki and I would hang out, we only talked half the time. At other times, we would just sit around in the same room, not really interacting, just being there. He didn't seem to mind. Usually, I didn't mind either. But today was different. I decided to tell him my problem.

"Yamazaki, I haven't talked to, heard, nor seen Misaki in weeks."

Yamazaki swerved around in his chair. He slouched toward me, genuinely interested. For once, he seemed to have some sympathy within his wispy brows. He said, "That girl you see sometimes? She's gone? That's... that's awful… Any idea what happened to her?"

I was about to say the NHK kidnapped her, but I ignored that thought. "I don't know… Maybe she had to go somewhere, like visit a sick aunt. Maybe she's at school. Or maybe she just got tired of talking to me… Maybe she was just fed up with me…"

"That's a lot of 'maybes'. You should be careful. You shouldn't let your imagination get the better of you. Of course, I know that in your particular case, you can't really help it..." Yamazaki made a movement with his hand, pointing upwards with one finger. "Still, you know what I always say… -She's a girl. This is what girls do. They break our hearts. Especially ones that belong to losers like us. And that's why... women... ARE ALL DIRTY WHORES!"

Yamazaki picked up a magazine of Ultraman that was lying on a nearby shelf. He thrust his hand into his pocket, yanked a pencil out, and jabbed two holes into the magazine. The magazine's cover was that of Ultraman's face. The two holes were evenly spaced from each other, both at the center of one of Ultraman's eyes. It was an improvised mask. Yamazaki covered his face with it, and began to yell, "BE GONE, EVIL WHORES! GO TO HELL, YOU BITCHES!" His free hand was above his head in clenched fist, waving it around in a circle.

"Yamazaki," I sighed, "Misaki was different. She genuinely wanted to help me."

My friend put down the magazine, the mask. He said, "Do you know that for sure?"

"Erm… well…" I wasn't sure. There was always something distant about Misaki. And I barely knew her personally. It had often occured to me that I knew nothing about her. Still, in the face of adversity, she was always there for me. It didn't seem like her to just get up and never talk to me again.

Yamazaki took my grumbling to be an answer, "You aren't sure. The only thing we do know is that she hasn't contacted you in weeks. And in my book, that's a bad sign. Forget about her. She is an evil whore. And I have a ton of new doujins and gal games for us to try out… And then there is always our project, the ga-"

"YAMAZAKI, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANY OF THOSE STUPID THINGS," I shrieked. My heart jumped a beat as I yelled. This outburst surprised Yamazaki, and even myself. I could feel my face burning up.

The otaku immediately melted into his chair, grabbing the seat's arms with his hands. I must have scared him.

He replied, with some slight discomfort, "Whoa… Sato… chill out… I understand your pain…"

I took some deep breaths and tried to calm down. My voice shaked, "If you understood, then you could do a lot better by actually helping!"

"Alright… Let me ask you, how exactly do you feel?"

"It's hard to explain. Hurt, I guess."

"I think that's a result of our figh-"

My face started to burn up again, "SHUT UP!"

"Sorry! Okay. How are you hurt?"

I cleared my throat. This explanation was bound to be long, "I'm a hikikomori. I haven't talked to anybody, outside of you and her, for about-" I took a moment to do the math, "-three years. Honestly, after all this time, I feel like I don't know if I can match up to society's expectations. In a way, I'm like a little kid. I've forgotten the normal rules of human interaction. I need to learn it all over again. Still, I became a hiki for two reasons: one, because people... scare me-" I paused for a second, lost in thought, "-and two, I'm just not that much of a people person. I don't need to go to parties, nor need anybody's approval. I'm not a people person, and it doesn't really matter to me if I have many friends. When it comes to friends, Yamazaki, you're more than enough for me. But, the thing is, I'm still lonely. Like there's something missing. Outside of this small apartment complex, my own little world, there's so many people. There are so many people I don't know. And there are so many things I don't have. It's all very unnerving."

As I took a break from my long monologue, I looked over at Yamazaki. He had his back turned to me, looking at some image board on his computer.

What the... fuck?

"YAMAZAKI, PAY FREAKIN' ATTENTION!"

Yamazaki looked over his shoulder at me. "Yo, Sato," said Yamazaki with impatience, "I wasn't asking you about your _typical_ mental anguish. I was asking about how hurt you are over Misaki. Pay attention, man. Because seriously, I'm having trouble paying attention to you."

I snapped, "I was getting to that!" I felt like yelling at Yamazaki again. I was getting more and more ticked off at him. But I held back. I needed him to understand the situation. Even then, I was beginning to feel like _**Sato vs. Yamazaki: Round**_ **2** was right around the corner. I took another deep breath, and began to speak, "Alright, so, if you need a bloody summary of that speech I performed for you, let me inform you that I am lonely and depressed. Of course, you already know that.

Finally, I tackled the Misaki issue, "She... meant a lot to me. She gave me hope. Despite my being a loser hikikomori, talking to her made me feel, if even for just a slight second, normal. Pretty pathetic, right? And I knew her contract was bullshit. Like it would be possible to cure my hikikomori-ness. Except that by playing along, I could fool myself into believing that I was redeemable. I could fool myself into believing it was possible. Of course, the NHK won't allow me to be happy. By fooling myself, I forgot about that crucial fact." I leaned forward and buried my head in my hands, my palms brushing against my hair.

"Well," Yamazaki said, "I can relate. She was a big figure in your life, and she represented a possibility. A possible chance to be happy. It gave you hope. It gave you a reason to get up in the morning. In fact, at university, there are a few... somewhat evil whores... that I'm interested in. But I'm too shy to approach them. I'm too nervous that I'll get rejected. So I don't try. I keep them at a distance, building them up in my mind. It's not the best way to handle things, but it keeps me content. By not getting rejected, I still have a chance. I don't want to ruin the illusion. And, for all we know, all of the girls I fawn over feel the same way. I'm suspending reality to live in a dream. But dreams often beat reality. Just saying."

"Yeah..." I was happy Yamazaki knew what I was talking about. Not just about girls, but about... dreams in general... and how they conflict with reality.

Yamazaki changed the topic. "I know this is random, but, could you perhaps give me... a, erm... metaphorical description?"

My eyes widened. "Metaphorical description? What does that mean?"

"Like, a graphic description of your pain. You know... Whenever I'm down, I like making fun out of my problems." His words sounded subdued and they were strained. Yamazaki looked at the floor, and refused to give me eye contact. Perhaps this conversation had made him uncomfortable...

Why do I always do this? Even with a shut-in like Yamazaki, I fail at social interaction. It's all my fault. I'm such a bloody idiot. Damn...

Might as well try to cheer Yamazaki up.

"Well," I got on my knees, began to project my voice, and got all dramatic, "I feel like… some centipede is squirming around my inner organs, puncturing everything there. It's destroying me, from the inside out. I can feel holes in my lungs. All my arteries are cut… all of my veins are severed… My heart is a mangled mess. I am a mess." I crossed my arms against my chest and bent over, all for effect. You couldn't blame me for having some fun. I wondered how Yamazaki would react.

"Heh, yeah... It feels like you've been stabbed by an invisible dagger, right? But your description, with the centipede… That was a great! Quite on the graphic side. Reminds me of an h-game. Haha, isn't this fun?" Yamazaki's smile was glued to his face.

I stayed bent over, arms against my chest. It just occured to me, that instead of advancing my relationship with Misaki, I was playing imaginary games with an otaku. This realization hurt, a lot. I felt ashamed. Sweat began to drip down my face, and as I looked over at Yamazaki's floor mat, I could hear it whisper, "Haha, what a loser! NHK sure screwed him up!"

The posters on the wall began to laugh. They began to laugh at me. All of them exclaimed, "He's done for! He can't make anything out of his life!"

Yamazaki's figurines began to dance in circles, chanting vicious melodies. Above his computer, Yamazaki's equipment began to blare cold, electronic giggles. There was a whirlwind of commotion in the room. I had became the laughing stock of this tiny room - this small, putrid world.

Everything in this room, no, the universe was laughing at me.

Behind his opaque glasses, Yamazaki was chuckling.

"YAM-A-ZAK-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" With incredible rage, perhaps equal and maybe even surpassing that of a pissed off typhoon, I threw my icepack across the room, where it collided with the wall. It exploded.

Flailing both hands in the air, Yamazaki attempted to show me that he meant no harm. He exclaimed, "WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOAAAA! CHILL OUT! I DUNNO WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU CALM DOWN NOTHING IS RONG OH MY GOD PLEASE!" He kept laughing, but was visibly scared. He began to choke on his laughter. After a loud gulp, and after much swallowing- "Well, Sato! If you're going to be this way… hung up, and, might I add, FREAKING TERRIFYING, then I suppose we have to do something about it!"

I stared at the wet spot the icepack made. "That's for sure…"

"And, I just thought up the perfect plan!" With this exciting revelation, Yamazaki folded his arms. He suddenly looked confident and assured. A grin was forming at the edge of his mouth. This newfound boldness made me uncomfortable, and wary.

"It better not have anything to do with your game."

"Nonono- Well… maybe- But no, that's not the point! She was an integral part of your life, and you need to get her back… If nothing changes, you'll be on a downward spiral from here! And if it is alright for me to admit this - ...I'm also afraid for the welfare of my icepacks."

I scratched the side of my head. I knew this was going to lead to trouble. "So, what do you propose?"

Yamazaki's smile reached as far as his face, "Well, what else? You get off your hikikomori ass, leave your room, and we go look for her!"


End file.
